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       Brian's Journey

During childhood, Brian grew up in a traditional Christian family, went to a Christian school, and experienced the typical circumstances of such an upbringing. He was exposed to various teachings of Jesus, but these were not taught in a way that inspired belief. Eventually he dropped out of the Christian tradition in hopes of finding something that could be experienced directly, which resonated. Initially, this led to explorations in the psychic realm.

Brian had numerous out-of-body, hands-on-healing, and other spiritual experiences, but all of these provided only temporary happiness and distraction. The most that remained was only the memory of an experience that was no longer occurring. In addition, when suffering triggered the breaking of faith, and the entry of doubt, even the memory of these experiences of the past would fade into insignificance, or even doubt that they had actually occurred at all. At this point, brian decided to leave this never-ending path of occasional experiences of happiness arising temporarily from varying spiritual and psychic experiences, to look for something that was permanent.

This new intention led to the study of psychology, philosophy, and spirituality, which then led to the path of enlightenment. He walked the path blindly in order to observe how the process unfolded, with fewer expectations than might arise when being exposed to detailed spiritual writings. Brian's main practices were introspection (to get to the root of the I-thought, or ego), meditation, emotional clearing, loving others unconditionally, and being considerate and compassionate to all life. Meditation practice occurred both while sitting still and walking. Following this path, Brian hoped to realize the Self.

Initially, Brian was egoicly intrigued with the path and became quite obsessed with it. This eventually matured into a more “passive” quest, with no attention on the outcome, or spiritual goals. By that point, his identity dissolved to a degree, and the first glimmer of Awarenenss shone forth. This is the first stage, wherein the beingness loses a small percentage of egoity (which is the illusion of separateness), and aspects of the Universal Truth begin to stand revealed, as if the clouds in the sky had parted and the sun is seen to shine with less obstruction. This stage, even though commonly misunderstood as “enlightenment,”is best understood as an initial glimpse of the Self, rather than the full awareness of the Self.

Brian now realized that his experience was the Aware Mind of Self, rather than the normal thinking mind of egoity. As the path continued, and this recognition progressed, there arose an increasing awareness of identity with the nonform essence of all things. This eventually culminated in a powerful experiential awareness of Being the Self, as the nonform nature of all existence. This realization allowed Brian to have a fuller understanding of Essence, which facilitated further and deeper experiences of the Self.

Eventually, a being that walks the path of enlightenment realizes that one is Allness (all of Creation or expressions of form), as well as Nothingness (nonform, or the unchanging substrate of Everything That Is). However, this Universal Mind recognition is not the Ultimate Truth of Reality, about which Buddha and Jesus spoke.

The final stages of the path to full Self-realization are when the Allness and Nothingness paths are integrated, (the “Middle Way”), and then finally dissolve into each other. As this stage occurred, Brian realized that form and nonform were One and the Same. This is incomprehensible to the normal egoic thinking mind, which can only see “two different things” or a “polarity of extremes.” The ego cannot understand Oneness. Awareness at this stage that form and nonform occupy the same “space," is not the Full Expression of Real Oneness.

Eventually, when the polarity of form and nonform have been seen experientially as One, this polarity dissolves because of the experience of full absorption into the One. At that point, not only are form and nonform forgotten, but the One dissolves as well. At this stage, all concepts dissolve, so that the mind cannot comprehend “oneness” or “two-ness.” When the mind is “no longer there” to grasp the concept of multiplicity, then it is also no longer available to grasp the concept of singularity either.

At this stage of enlightenment, one is beyond the concept “being one with the Universe.” One just IS the Universal Awareness, though not necessarily the Full-On Functionality of "Being" and "Doing" Everything. Nor is this the stage of obtaining the "intimate knowledge of absolutely all forms of the Cosmos. Therefore, this is not yet the stage of Full Enlightenment or Cosmic Identification in all its Fullness. This is not the Ultimate Truth of the Self, and not Liberation, this is a profound stage of awakening. The “witnesser” still remains, which is a remaining expression of egoity that is experiencing or witnessing what one IS, rather than simply Being It.

Brian is at a stage where there is not seen or felt to be anyone at a stage. There is no good, no bad, no this, no that. There is not felt to be an "I" of any kind, other than it merely being a concept that True Self manifests, since it is the Authority and therefore Creator of all things physical and subtle. What is felt is Universal Attention choosing to Operate and Utilize the form of the physical system and psyche for further Expression within the form domains, which are also not felt by any one to be either Real or false. There are no forms, no labels, no experiencer or experiences. Nothing happens, yet everything happens. He does not, however, have total intimate knowledge of All forms because of the lack of Being all forms. Awareness of Being is different from BEING all forms. Awareness of Being has no direct knowledge of the intimate details of all forms, and BEING all forms has that intimate knowledge.


The final aspect of this stage of the enlightenment process is known as liberation or “sahaja samadhi.” This is also not the culmination of enlightenment, since no matter how far one develops on this path, they are not fully experiencing the Absolute Reality of the Supreme. At this stage, the witnesser also dissolves, and the beingness is no longer a witnesser or experiencer. This is the True Nondual Reality. This is beyond form (Allness) and formlessness (Nothingness), existence and non-existence, experience and non-experience. This stage is best described as “Beyond.” However, there is no “one” to have gone beyond. When the witnesser dissolves, there is no “one” to claim to “be” anything, including enlightened or not.

Most people who claim to be enlightened are going through the witnessing stages. True Enlightenment cannot be spoken about since it is indescribable (though the Path can be described), beyond experience, and beyond anything that can be indicated. At that Stage of Being, there is no one left to report anything, because there is no one remaining to whom anything occurred. No one remains to express anything, nor is there any personal reason for expression - yet Universal expression still occurs. The Nature of That Universal Expression is Spontaneous Action arising from the Wholeness of Existence and the Universal Perspective of What is True. This Action will appear to the beings of creation as a highly beneficial Expression of Love, Humility, Creativity, Compassion, Wisdom, and Blessing. All beings are benefitted by this Grace, because it is not selective upon whom it Showers; however those who are most open to receive will benefit the greatest.

How does one live after True Enlightenment? After Enlightenment, what unfolds is partially due to one’s past karma. This is referred to as “prarabda” karma, meaning those aspects of karma that have already begun to come into expression through that beingness. This karma influences the further activity of the form (mind/body/personality complex) in its expression and interactive style. Without ego to exert choice and control over the expressions of the form, actions arise by the Grace of the Divine Power, which is the unhindered Presence of the Self. At this point, no “personal will” remains, though action continues without an actor. Individuality no longer remains to choose the action of walking from one point to another, take a shower, eat food, talk or interact with others. These actions, however, still occur, but without the presence of a chooser, witnesser or experiencer. The perceptual faculties remain, but the sense of a witnesser experiencing the objects of the senses has been deleted.

To an ego, non-experiencing may seem an undesirable way of living, since this state is described by those who Know as being Beyond pleasure (or pain). However, this is more semantics than Truth. It is true that there is “no one home” to claim enlightenment, and that the experiencer has dissolved. While the True Nature of this state cannot be expressed, it can genuinely be said that what remains is a blissful, happy, and peaceful experience of Being, which far outshines the experience of witnessing Being. Witnessing requires that someone remains to step back from being “happy” in order to observe, compare, and report on what is arising or what Exists as the Nature of Happiness ItSelf. All of this unnecessary process of thought, however subtle and purified, takes one out of Being Purity, Fullness, Emptiness, and Freedom. Thus, Being the experience is preferable to witnessing the experience, since witnessing separates the experiencer from what is experienced.

Nothing can describe what the unobstructed Self Is, since It is beyond the barrier of duality. However, for the sake of those beings that are experiencing from the dualistic frame and wish to comprehend something about this, let us simply say that It is the happiest, most blissful, peaceful, and loving State that one can experience or Be.